The road to learning about my twice exceptional child

It would have been useful to have known much more about gifted children, or even better, twice exceptional children before my older son started school. As it turns out, my son has ADHD, sensory integration dysfunction, and auditory processing disorders as well as being gifted. His inattentiveness is considerably greater when he is bored because of elementary learning material. He would also act out or not pay attention when he was running up against issues with his learning disabilities. Despite all of his issues, he continues to make huge leaps and bounds in the growth of his knowledge, far surpassing his peers on annual testing. It took a lot of effort to get there, however.

Children aren't able to verbally communicate why they don't like a topic. They know that they are being compelled to do something that doesn't feel right or that they don't like. Being taught in a way that is nonsensical to a child creates a lot of frustration and confusion. The child doesn't say, "The way you're explaining that doesn't make sense." They change their focus, don't pay attention, and try to find something to fill the space of whatever it is that makes them uncomfortable.

However, many teachers don't interpret their actions this way, and most parents do the same. The children's behavior is interpretted, in most cases, as an active avoidance or intentional misbehavior. The key differentiator between intentional misbehavior and that of a child who is frustrated with the learning process is if the behavior is far more prevalent in the classroom. However, when the child is frustrated enough, the behavior leaks into the home environment as well.

My son was reading Harry Potter books in first grade and spent hours playing with Legos. He would spend hours on mazes and puzzles. However, he would rush through is school work, doing a very sloppy job or simply not completing it due to boredom or lack of understanding. Because he was not completing his work, his teacher, who at the beginning of the year thought he was very bright, started saying that he wasn't gifted. His first year in school, my son went to several specialists because his teacher and school administrators would not accept that my son was gifted with ADHD. They were correct that there was more going on, but it wasn't autism, as they kept insisting.

The biggest problem, however, was that they simply refused to provide more challenging material to my son. Given he could and did concentrate on areas of interest, his first year in school would have gone much better if they had been willing to do what the doctor's recommended: provide more enriching learning material and make sure it is presented in a visual manner. Instead, they continued to insist that he was being adequately challenged and they were, in fact, presenting concepts in a visual manner.

By the middle of the first year, my son had shut down, and the teachers blamed him. He was soon diagnosed with opposition defiant disorder (ODD). It should be noted that ODD is almost always comorbid with some other type of attentional or learning disorder. Had I known that, I would have realized that what was happening was my son's frustration level had exceeded all of his coping abilities. I often think his teachers should have known this.

Instead, I began homeschooling, which was a very long journey of untangling all the knots that tied together his learning abilities and disabilities, his various disorders, and his self-esteem. Ultimately, we came to understand how he could learn, when he could and couldn't concentrate, and how to appropriately challenge him in his learning. Now, as a teenager, he is beginning to understand these things about himself and becoming an independent learner.

Gifted Identification: When giftedness is the problem

Previously, I've discussed how there can be difficulties in identifying gifted children in a classroom based on several factors. However, giftedness itself can lead to problems in identification. The following list, from Gifted Children Monthly, Feb. 1988, is summarized at this page. I've also added personal notes to the list, showing how teachers often perceive this behavior.

Gifted Traits Can Cause Classroom Problems

High verbal ability, unusually large vocabulary

The child seems older and more mature than he or she is, leading to unrealistic expectations on the part of the teacher; has difficulty developing listening skills; uses this verbal gift to manipulate or dominate others.

Early reading

The child presents problems primary teachers who may not know where to begin to meet the child's language arts development.

A questioning attitude

The child questions authority as well as rules, regulations, and generally accepted facts; teacher may feel threatened, which could result in hostile feelings towards child.

NOTE: Can be viewed as oppositional defiance disorder.

Keen powers of observation

The child sees through sham and pretense; teacher must be secure enough to admit he or she does not know something.

NOTE: Another one for the oppositional defiance disorder checklist.

Long attention span, persistence, intense concentration

The child is unable to go on to a new activity; becomes oblivious to everything and everyone around, sometimes missing explanations, directions or assignments.

NOTE: The behavior can be sometimes mistaken for both autistic spectrum disorders ("rigid thinking", "can't handle transitions", "stuck in his/her own world", etc.) or ADD/ADHD when the child isn't paying attention.

Ability to learn basic skills more quickly and easily, and retain much information with less repetition.

The child resists drill and repetition, becomes impatient with those who do not learn as quickly; devours material almost as fast as the teacher prepares it.

NOTE: When the child resists drill and repetition, many teachers don't understand that the child feels they are wasting their time. They assume the child doesn't know and is actually behind other students. When the resistance becomes too great, labels like oppositional defiance disorder begin showing up.

Wide range of interests

The child leaves activities incomplete.

NOTE: Another ADD/ADHD behavior.

Very narrow interests

The child sticks to things he or she knows or does best, unwilling to risk trying new things; signals perfectionistic tendencies.

NOTE: This is very often misunderstood as the "circumscribed interests" attributed to individuals with autistic spectrum disorders, most often Asperger's Syndrome.

Creativeness, originality, putting ideas and things together in novel ways

The child is seen as being nonconformist or rebellious, even "wierd".

NOTE: Gifted children may try to answer questions creatively, but don't give the "right" answer. The teacher then assumes the child doesn't understand the material. This can be alleviated by probing into the reasons why the child answers the way he or she does.

Unusual, often highly developed sense of humor

The child sees humor in situations that escapes others; sometimes leads to judgements of inappropriateness by others.

NOTE: Another trait often mistaken for autistic spectrum disorders.

Ability to see relationships, make connections

The child makes intuitive leaps which can exasperate teachers who insist on step-by-step procedures.

Sensitivity

The child is often overly sensitive, taking minor jokes or teasing too seriously; has feelings easily hurt.

NOTE: This issue is especially difficult for boys, who are expected to not display emotions or reactions to such teasing.

High energy level

The child cannot sit or wait quietly; is impatient; seems to have inherent need to be constantly engaged in activity; becomes bored, sometimes disruptive; can exhaust teacher.

NOTE: This sounds like every child diagnosed with ADHD.

Independence

The child has difficulty working with others on group probjects or activities requiring cooperative effort; usually prevers working alone, doing it his or her own way.

NOTE: This can contribute to beliefs that the child suffers from oppositional defiance disorder or autistic spectrum disorders, depending on how the child handles social situations. The same is true of the next point.

A "loner"

The child does not develop appropriate social skills, which leads to more isolation.

Problems in Gifted Identification: Boys

Boys and girls are very different in the ways they approach school.

...

When a little boy starts school, however, he almost immediatley notices that what he wants to do is not happening in school. To make matters worse, what he wants to do isn't allowed or isn't even available. Therefore, boys are much more likely to act out and complain than girls. As a result, more boys than girls are diagnosed with attention deficit disorder (ADD) or hyperactivity."

-Dr. Deborah Ruf, "Losing Our Minds: Gifted Children Left Behind"

I discussed previously how learning style can affect someone's perception of a child's giftedness. This is one of many factors involved in identification of the gifted. Giftedness itself can create difficulties when teachers are not aware of the characteristics of the gifted, which most are not. Aside from that, gender and personality also have large impacts on the perception of giftedness.

I hope to discuss all of these points, but I think gender is an appropriate place to begin. Both gifted boys and girls, on average, tend to deal with their higher intelligence in different ways. In general, though, girls will be more passive about disparities in their abilities and curriculum. Boys will be more defiant and oppositional. Of course, because something happens this way on average doesn't mean that girls won't act out or boys won't comply just to get things over with. It is important to be aware of all possible behaviors that can signal educational issues.

Boys are fortunate to have the set of genes or expectations that cause them to act out in the situations when they have caring teachers and parents. Those boys may have the benefit of people who understand that the difficulties may not lie within the child but within the environment. The boys are communicating this the best way they know how. It is up to the adults to listen, and it's hard for the adults to ignore some of this behavior.

Most boys are not that fortunate. They spend time becoming angry, losing respect for adults, and not understanding why they are required to spend so much time in such monotonous, unstimulating environments. They refuse to complete assignments, they will not stay organized, and they don't pay attention. They are labeled as AD(H)D or Oppositional or accused (rightly so) of underachieving.

The key to this problem is it that the adults need to change, not the children. The boys are not being intentionally defiant (for the most part), but they have lost interest and few adults are sympathetic to their plight. Our culture wants boys to learn to, "Take it like a man." The boys are helpless to communicate this in any other way than passive resistance to the authority for which they are losing respect.

Unfortunately, many of these behaviors prevent them from being accelerated. The view is that they haven't earned the responsibility of an advanced material for if they are not responsible in normal conditions, they certainly will not be in an accelerated program. This completely overlooks the issue that these behaviors are the result of a lack of stimulating environment, and medicating them will only keep the problem at bay for so long.